The only path to serenity….
He who clings to his work
Will create nothing that endures.
If you want to accord with the Tao,
Just do your job, then let go.
-Tao Te Ching
Matthew Fox, the author of the “The Reinvention of Work,” writes about how we must do work that is based within our souls. When we start to work from our outer selves for rewards like money, benefits and bonuses, our soul dies. This is death work. Working with our inner selves is where true, honest work begins.
Allowing the Divine to move through our bodies and minds will naturally create meaningful work. There is no separation between us and the Divine. We are ending an old era based on separation, patriarchy, industrialization, capitalism, and greed. We are entering a new era based on balancing the masculine and feminine energies, creativity, love, and healing. The Universe is not a machine with parts, the Universe is a beautiful mystery and everything is interconnected.
I invite you to allow the left side of your brain to rest for a moment. Imagine the past, prior to December 21, 2012 Solstice, as one side of an hourglass. Time and evolution moved at a different pace hundreds of years ago. What is time, anyway?
I like to imagine the past few decades as where the hourglass begins to narrow. Information and technology appeared to speed up human evolution and wreaked havoc on the environment. The Solstice represents the very narrow middle of the hourglass. It was a monumental day for reflection, inquiry, meditation, and connecting to the Source. On the shortest day of the year, I set the intention to let go of fear and doubt so that love and hope could fill my being. In order to birth the new way of being, I was willing to surrender to whatever the Universe had planned for me. I was ready. I had been preparing for this moment my whole life.
That day, I was tested beyond belief. Everything I thought I knew and planned for the future was tossed up into the air and fell back down in tiny pieces as if a rock was thrown into the air and it came back down as sand. Prior to the Solstice, I was wearing blinders. Fear, hopelessness, disappointment, discouragement, adultism and sexism were preventing me from fully embracing the life I was given. Those patterns were being stripped away faster than I could comprehend. I refused to internalize oppression any longer. The pain was immense and gut wrenching. I did not eat or sleep for days.
“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked the Divine. “I was so happy and comfortable before!”
“Yes, you were happy, Hannah. “ the Divine answered. “Wasn’t it brilliant? A taste of living based from your heart center. You opened your heart more than you have since you were a child. You were vulnerable, awake, alive, and ready. Ready to be reborn. Nobody said opening your heart would be comfortable, though. You have always been a leader and speaker of the truth. But the moment you began to settle for less than the best, I had to jolt you. You cannot settle! You have to continue living your dream and letting go of the physical and emotional baggage that does not serve you. The pain and suffering is temporary. Fortunately, you have all the tools you need to grieve, process, and move on. Now, let’s go my dear sweet one.”
The Universe is not subtle.
I left Kripalu in early January. My service was no longer authentic in the community. The only one I needed to serve was myself along with my big dreams. Self-care and feeding the small farm dream this winter is my highest form of service. My Great Work must come from this swirling burning fire of love from within.
The Universe pulled me forcefully.
Within the first few hours of leaving Kripalu, I went with my sister to a café. I shared my shock from the abrupt change that jolted my world since the Solstice. After a few minutes of “kvetching” (Yiddish for “complaining”), Aravinda walked into the café. Aravinda is the daughter of Satyena, the founder of Starseed Sanctuary, where I spent the Solstice. Starseed has invited me to join their community and expand their gardens to provide more food for the retreat center.
“Let’s talk farm!” Aravinda said with so much enthusiasm, I couldn’t help but think, Oh, I get it. This is why the Universe has tugged me so ruthlessly. This is exactly where I am meant to be in this moment.
Dreams do come true. A year ago I was exploring my dream of starting a small farm with a community of people. A fellow colleague suggested I find an already established retreat center/community where I could start the small farm.
Thank you for listening, Universe.